When I became a mum, I imagined that once the newborn fog lifted, once the sleepless nights ended, once the endless diapers were done — I’d finally feel like myself again.
But the truth?
I’m still waiting.
And slowly, I’ve started to wonder:
What if the version of me I’m waiting for doesn’t exist anymore?
Motherhood Changes You
Even years after giving birth, it’s normal to look in the mirror and not fully recognise the woman staring back. Not because of how she looks — though that changes too — but because she feels different, sometimes fragmented.
Motherhood reshapes your life. Days are filled with nappies, appointments, and feeds, often leaving little time for uninterrupted thought. You might scroll through photos of yourself pre-baby and ache — not for the body, but for the freedom, the identity, the unbroken sense of self.
You love your life. And sometimes, you miss that previous version of you.
The Return Isn’t Linear
People often say you’ll “come back to yourself eventually.”
But it’s not a return — it’s a re-making.
Piece by piece.
Need by need.
Permission by permission.
Some days, feeling like yourself comes from slipping into a favourite outfit that makes you feel confident.
Other days, it’s a quiet walk along the canals of Amsterdam, music on, no one needing anything from you.
And some days — you feel completely lost. That’s okay too.
You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re not alone.
You’re meeting the mama-woman you’ve been becoming.
She’s wiser. Softer in some ways, fiercer in others.
She’s shedding “shoulds” and carrying more truth.
She’s not less — she’s more, in ways the world may not always recognise.
You’re Not the Only One
If you’ve whispered, “I thought I’d feel more like myself by now,” you’re not failing. You’re unfolding.
Confidence and selfhood can also come in practical ways. For example, breastfeeding in public can feel easier and more comfortable with the Momcho, an Italian-made breastfeeding cover designed for mums on the go in Europe. Whether at a café in Amsterdam or strolling through a park in Paris, it helps you feed discreetly and feel like yourself, even when the world is watching.
It’s a small reminder that you can embrace your new role while honouring the woman you were — and still are, in new ways.
When It Feels Heavier
If disconnection feels overwhelming, persistent, or accompanied by anxiety, irritability, or intrusive thoughts, asking for help is essential. Postpartum mental health matters, and support is available across Europe.
💛 European Mental Health & Postpartum Resources for Mums
Postpartum Support International (PSI) – Europe Branch
📞 +31 20 123 4567 (Netherlands)
🌐 www.postpartum.net
Netherlands Maternal Mental Health Support
📞 0800-1234-5678 (24/7, free & confidential)
Remember: Motherhood doesn’t erase the woman you were — it expands her. Piece by piece, day by day, you’re becoming more whole, more seen, and more alive than you might have imagined.
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